Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Still no sign of snow

I wanted a little line of poetry, and I wanted it to be about snow. I looked high. I looked low. I looked at the Poetry Foundation website and at bartleby.com, and then I realized that I could use one of my Decemer haikus. I could even write just the one that would say what I wanted to say.

Isn't that the point?

After a little work, I came up with:

Waiting for the snow
To change December landscapes
The world looking new

Then today, I sent it to Michael Dylan Welch, who knows much more about haiku than I do or ever will. He had a suggestion, so my latest version is:

Waiting for the snow
To change rain-blackened branches
The world looking new

Is it better? I don't know. Does it say what I need it to say? I'm not sure. I think the first version says what I want it to say. But Michael's comment opens up the possibility for change, and I can keep exploring it.

Three lines, Seventeen syllables or so. And still a wealth of possibility.

Now, time to check the weather forecast.

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