After posting tips about writing bios on his Poetic Asides blog, Robert Lee Brewer is hosting a fake bio contest. Too much fun! Wait, how can you have too much fun?
Start scribbling, because the deadline is September 1.
Here's what I wrote.
My poems are inspired by the tea leaves in the bottom of my cup or the steam that swirls up from stream water that I heat over an open flame. To connect most closely with my muse, I hand harvest the mint leaves and dry them in a hollow cedar log. I then write each poem on paper that I have made carefully harvested and chewed into pulp. For ink, I pound berries that I harvest on the seventh night after each new moon. My poems, sent in small scrolls or tied with silk threads to the legs of doves, have appeared in Up the Downspout, Empty Kettle, and When It Isn’t Raining Review, among other publications. I am the author of 17 books of poems and two books of essays. My 18th volume, Wraiths in the Wrack, is forthcoming from Palimpsest Press. I live above sea level. The kitchen is very small.
Okay, already I'm tempted to rewrite it, to clean it up. However, I'd be better off turning my editing attention back to poems.