Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Summer ghost?

Or anxious doldrums?

Last night, and again this morning, I've been haunted by a nagging disappointment, a sense of expectations not met.

After I returned home from class and helped fix a light supper, I sat down at my computer—and I was surprised when nothing happened. I couldn't get purchase on any ideas, couldn't find a way to dig in and start.

That isn't unusual. I often start with great hopes for great inspiration—and I don't often get it. I go on. I noodle around. I shift words in poems I've been worrying over lately. Why was last night different?

And why again this morning? It's an odd feeling, being on the cusp of something, not knowing what. Is it a block? Or is it just a lull as the momentum for a project slows? Maybe I just think it's writing, when actually it's the reading this Saturday and the trip to Santa Fe next weekend.

But I wish I could put my finger on it, figure it out, start.

What gets you going when you feel you really need to be going?


SAC said...

What gets me going? Procrastination and looming deadlines! Probably not what you wanted to hear...

Kelli said...

Going to a reading and stealing that writerly energy.


Autumn-- I am not a great summer writer, but when fall comes, I go back into student-mode and the work comes. It's a pain for me to be so directed by seasons, but I've learned that summer is my "filling up" time and Sept-May (even mid-August to May) is my writing time.

As I've gotten older, (unless there's a deadline), I've been less likely to try to force things and instead just say, Well, I'll write next week.

good post!

Joannie said...

Deadlines? We don't need no stinkin' deadlines!

Okay, maybe I do. But with poetry, I only have one hard-and-fast deadline: the annual Floating Bridge Press deadline in February. Although if I want to get this full-length manuscript published, I guess I should get a little discpline and keep track of some of those contest dates.

Kelli, I'm on the same wave-length about back-to-school autumn (I love that!), reading is always good for me, and I appreciate a good fallow. But my problem now is that I feel inspired. I have many things to write, until I sit down to write them. Then I feel empty--all dressed up with nowhere to go.